So there I was

So there I was 
standing on the edge of despair 
Fluent in the language of failure 
Seemingly predictively unorganised
In the throws of human weakness and inanity 
Versed in the chapters of lust over life 
My very being rich in the transient pleasure of ignorance 
Like flat palm wine on a hot day 
No pleasure did I receive from drinking this cup
 So there I was,... 
Unbowed 
Unperturbed 
Unbending  
Inspite of Or despite? 
Words fail me, 
I lack composure  
Structure, lexis and tense 
I mix verbs and nouns  
Adjectives and whatever else!

my inevitable demise 
When we sleep, do we sleep?  Or are we merely transposed ? 
When we are awake, are we awake ? or are we asleep in ignorant bliss? 
Yet I fail to react 
I fail to break ground, to find definition 
Like flat palm wine on a hot day
No pleasure did I receive from drinking this cup 
Who wants to know? ,...only those who care to ask 
So there I was 
,.... this is for you 
Today you entered my thoughts
Grabbed me by my proverbial and made me realise that we all face daily challenges 
And are often judged by our peers who have no right to make such judgements
You gathered me in like a gardener clearing the first offerings of autumn 
You offered me fresh perspective  
And inspired in me hope. 
I love you beyond mere words can tell 
Am inspired by your frailties and lifted by your innocence 
I love it that you are contrary to the given views 
And in standing alone, you are never alone 
So there I was 
Seemingly on the edge of despair 
Fluent in the language of failure 
Like flat palm wine on a hot day 
No pleasure have I derived from drinking this cup 
I was running on empty
But then you came 
Offered me the coolness of your gaze  
The deafening roar of your silence 
And like cool cold palm wine on a hot day  I am drunk with your love 
Shukran  
for fatema,...my inspiration
  
"Allahoma ini la asaloka radda al kada, walakini asaloka allotfa fih"

  Remember ~ runningwater never sleeps,..it runs wide, runs deep, it's a source of life. 01072012@ 07.18