you

am not angry nor cold
even now as the skies
darken and gather around me
nor am i afraid for what the future holds
as clearly i hold the future
my destiny is mine
nobody elses!
yes i am unafraid
yet afraid i become
as thoughts of past
events
dilenmas
proclivities
pervades my very being
i tell myself i am whole
i have become whole
No!
i do not need definition
nor image
i decide who i am
am blessed
blessed i am
my gift bear fruit
done all i can
all i can i have done
relentless is my pursuit
direct is my aim
i want you to hold me
i need to be held by you
like i have never before been held
i need to hear you sing my name
whisper kind words that soothe my pain
i want you to see my hurt
not to feel my hurt

want you

even though I don't need you

need you
i wneed you to want me
want me
for me.

this morning

I emerged this morning grateful and glorious in the knowledge that I was now safe. Too often we are caught up in the predicament of others. Existing instead living, living instead of loving. I emerged completely aware of the importance of my life in the sphere of the world. Looking at the stars, live’s individual can seem insignificant. Important though is those we love, those we choose to love, and those we love even though the world deem them unfit to love.
Fundamentally I am, so I shall be. Be clean, be true, be-long, be-used and be aware. I emerged victorious, unsuspecting of life’s gift, grateful that life had chosen me to love.
I have chosen not to engage in lyrical masturbation, instead I will offer libation to the Gods of redemption. I have discouraged verbal tennis, and have discovered lyrical true essence of being. I am allowing the um-na-na to wash over me.
Spiritual is my guide, fast is my resolve. Complete is the heart. Mysterious remains the intent.

the other day

I remember stepping out of myself the other day. I remember admiring in awe at the tall dark somewhat quirky individual looking back. I remember feeling a tinge of sadness. Emotions so strong. Feelings of rage and unrequited love. I remember feeling enormous gratitude, enormous hope. Individually apart I stood, stood apart I was an individual. I remember reaching out at loves lost and aspirations expired.
Too quickly the flames of passions so strongly felt would extinguish, leaving feelings of anxiety. I remember the quick slow quick steps of ambitions drive. The flutter of evil intent when submissions of honesty to fore.
I remember the complicated art of leaving self exposed to ridicule by being so ridiculous. I remember dialogue of self, want and longing. Too soon oh too soon, fake hopes shines yet dims as I bought the untruth behind the reality of the flaw. I desired, yet felt no desire. I watched in amazement as justice threw down the challenge, the gauntlet. I scurried and unrelenting folded back the cover. I discovered that even though I was asleep I was always awake and as I awoke, I fell so soberly into sleeps welcoming and wanton hands. I remember stepping back into myself and feeling cheated at an adventure unfulfilled.

1st world third world observations!

Its interesting how views differ depending which part of the world they are being viewed in. For example: when I look at the word "corruption" one finds its oft used for third world leaders whilst in the west or 1st world we have quangos!

( same seedy act but prettied up nicely in the west ) We have: black wednesdays - when the UK economy crashed, but then you can also be in the black which is safe in monetary terms. I get confused. I once visited Milton Keynes and upon my arrival I stuck a flag into the turf on behalf of my country azerbaijan proclaiming the location discovered. Never mind I had driven there by the M1 and followed very well indicated routes and a nice chap also informed me how to get to Silbury Boulevard! The passengers in my car thought I had obviously escaped yet again or wasnt taking my medication. But,..hear me out,.. how does this differ from that chap David Livingston. Credited with finding the source of the river Niger. I mean, was it lost?,.. what of the African fellows that carried his load and led him towards this great discovery! what of the women washing their clothes and bathing in this water at the time of his arrival, were they not aware of the existence of the river?

In the 3rd world ( i cant even write that with a straight face ) we have tribal wars, yet in the 1st world, we have civil wars! I think you get my drift? War is war surely,..its ugly no matter what its called.

When I further address my mind to the issue of culture and mis-representation. We find that in the 1st world education was sophisticated due to the fact they were documented. However, Africa is considered primitive due the fact things were not written. The public at large though do not have the benefit of knowing that Africa used the oral traditions of passing on knowledge. As can be found in the incantations of the Yoruba people of Nigeria. These incantations often lasting up to 10 or 20 stanza’s deep. The pigmies people of eastern to mid Africa with the clicking sound of the koi koi’s
Turning the emphasis to medicines one finds in the west that just because items are packaged and studied in a lab, they are deemed acceptable even revolutionary. However, for hundreds of years the supposed primitive people of Africa had remedies for childbirth, headache’s, mosquito bites, and fever. A native doctor would use the essence of nature to cure many of the ills of society. Yet they were considered primitive. Further examples will be found in the supposed primitive cultures of native Indians, aborigines of Australia and so forth.

When we take a look at religion,.. don’t even get me started! In the 1st world, we have Christianity. All religions in Africa were considered primitive. Why? Thanks for asking, because Africans worshipped the trees, the river and the forest and different other deities. That was the crime. Now tell me how this is different from a Christian who worships a God who died on a cross by wearing rosary’s, or the muslims who uses exactly the same beads for the admiration of the prophet mohammed!
I guess my beef is that: The African takes his religion from the core of nature( the forest, the river, the skies ), connecting directly with God and often taking instructions on life matters from the oracle. Yet he is considered primitive. The catholic take instructions from the pope on all matters of life and pray the rosary yet the similarity isn’t the same. It makes you wonder whether religion as practised in the west wasn’t just a nifty idea of giving the native the bible while robbing them of their lands, mineral ores and oil. Exploitation comes to mind!

I will leave you with a final observation:* Axum ( a lot of credit in modern history goes to the 1st world yet the stories of empires such as Axum are omitted belittling the credit gained by the Arabs from Axum., the Arabs who scholars are credited with introducing mathematics, science which latterly were stolen by the Roman empire via the Greeks to the renaissance and the age of reasoning)
Cut the bullshit,.. give credit where its due. Africa is the mother earth and gave the world its shape and form,.its language , its art and poetry. Africa has remained untainted by the pollution and excess of the 1st world who must now reduce its consumption to save the earth.

*The Ethiopian state originated in the Axumite (also Aksumite) kingdom, a trading state that emerged around the first century A.D. Axum’s core area lay in the highlands of what are today northern Ethiopia and southern Eritrea. At the height of the kingdom’s power, Axumite’s controlled the Red Sea coast, from present day Sudan to Somalia and had dominion of land as far as the Nile Valley in the Sudan. On the Arabian side of the Red Sea, the Axumite kingdom controlled the coast and much of the interior of modern day Yemen. The Axumites perfected a written language (Geez), maintained relations with the Arabs in the Middle East, the Byzantine Empire (the Eastern half of the Roman Empire), and Egypt. There is evidence to suggest that the Axumite state arose as a result of interaction between migrants from Southwest Arabia, who arrived in the Ethiopian Highlands in the first Millennium B.C., and the peoples indigenous to the area. In the mid-fourth century, around 333 A.D., the Axumite king, Ezana, adopted the Christian religion. The Axumite kingdom left a legacy of centralized form of government and the central role of religion in society – two important elements that shaped Ethiopian history.
Remember: running water cannot be stopped. The views shared on these pages are mine alone and no other(s). I am not affiliated to any parties or groups. I am an in-betweenist. A lover of the world, a global citizen.

upcoming uk elections

I've been watching and listening with interest as the UK comes slowly out of near economic meltdown. Admittedly, a lot slower than most of our European neighbours. What really interests me is that we have an upcoming election and with this the near coronation of the conservative party led by "dodgy dave" and a bunch of guys with lots of professional grooming for election winning. "Winning without substance"
I ask myself - what do the Tory party really stand for?,.. and time after time I cannot figure an answer to that question. Yes, we are fed up of the Labour party and the excess of their champagne lifestyle. Seemingly, they have lost their way and are detached from the masses who 7- 10 years ago welcomed their landslide victory with "smarmy Tony" ( by the way, how did that guy get a job as a middle-east envoy??? )
My gripe I suppose, is that we should be careful what we wish for as we wish for change of government. Yes, we are fed up of labour!!! but what are the options: Lib-dems ( the party that say and tells it like it is, knowing full well they shall never be called to deliver ) or Mr everything to everyone on any subject - Dave Cameron.
Many says what have the labour party done for the UK:-
here's a few things
1. The NHS - best service in the world - free at point of need. ( dont agree - go to america or china - the worlds 1st economy and get ill without health insurance! ),
2. The minimum wage. There is more but I've got to get to Badminton now and must go.

We know what the conservative stand for - the clue is in the name!

I believe there is no-one genuinely better than the unelected jaw dropper, Mr Brown to bring us out of the folly and excessess of the last few years.He does genuinely I believe, have the goodness of the masses at heart and wishes to do well for more than the few.
I for one, wouldnt want to be a political leader,.. because no matter how well intensioned you are,.. the politiking minority interest always lobby to defeat your essential goodwill.I guess what I am saying is that,.. it is better the enemy you know than the unknown beast lurking in wait.
My tips for the next 2-3 months:
*If you have a home for sale. Put it on the market and get rid.( its enevitable mortgage rates will definateley go up)
* If you have savings - keep it close - away from banks and into credit or saving unions( google saving unions - sign up - keep your money safe )
* If you are in employment - stay put - you might feel that its going nowhere - but remember there are thousands who would trade places with you.
* Remember if there is a new government -they have a four year mandate to do whatever they like whilst blaming the previous administration.
* Enjoy the yuletide season, it may be the morsel of enjoyment for the foreseeable future.
* Finally, when it comes to voting- remember those elected MP's who thought it was okay to use tax payers monies friviously. Pay particular attention to those involved in all out fraud - like the chap who said he didnt realise he didnt have a mortgage, whilst claiming for it!
Remember: am not a labour supporter or affliliated to any party. I am a read-in-betweener
Remember: running water cannot be stopped!

whats with the black youths of today??

Recently a well known celebrity blogger spoke out about black youths. About them being responsible for majority of knife crime, gun crime, muggings and such,.. i think you get the picture. He further went on to mention that the only thing given in return by the Afro-carib community was the cuisine and rap music ( this is not an exact quote you will understand )
The furore sorrounding this blog was amazing. Many phoned in to radio shows, in particular one I listen to, the Vanessa feltz show on radioLondon. The gist of most who phoned in, were that the celebrity blogger was a racist, not thinking and setting back race relations back! He wanted to question this issue of multi-cultural Britain.

My view on the above is clear. In the cities the chap mentioned,.. statistically the truth is that his ascertions are right. BLACK YOUTHS are responsible for a majority of these crimes. Let stop defending the indefensable,..Am a 47 year old South Londoner and the truth is not much has changed since I was at school. However, what I do take umbrage at is the sweeping of all black youths with the same brush. My learned co-blogger should actually do some research and if he did he will find out that it is time we stopped using the term afro-caribbean.Most of these crimes are committed by Caribbean youths,..not African youths!
Most African youths are well behaved, cooperative and balanced members of the youth community. This is proven in the school reports of most schools in London/Manchester/Birmingham and Liverpool. Its time we call a spade a spade. Caribbean parents must take responsibility for their children. From a young age, not when they are too tall to listen. The raising of children, any children starts from the womb, and it starts from living a life worth emulating!

I was brought up old-school, by parents who cared enough to want to know where I was at all times of the day and I had clear boundaries for all adults. These days you cannot even look at some of these Carribean youths in the eye for fear of reprisal,.. some say its bravado, but how does a frightened person know its bravado?!!

Give credit where credit is due,.. African children work hard, are responsible, play a solid role in youth community and are a good example of ways to behave. The problem with the caucasian public is that they just see colour and not the individual - hence a well behaved African youth is tarnished with the same brush used to tarnish Carribean youth.

I guess my point is that the celebrity blogger was right up to a point,..but should take onboard individuals - especially Africans who have contributed to the world as we use it:
1. Philip Emeagwali -( emeagwali.com ) He left school in Standard 8 and lived with his family in a refugee camp. But Nigerian Philip Emeagwali is now regarded as one of the world's best scientific brains --- a man who has won truckloads of awards and is worth a cool $200 million - He developed the world fastest computer. More successful Africans to come - keep this page bookmarked! ( Got to watch my beloved Arsenal! )

My Gripe of the day: Whats with the black youths of today,.. the first thing they do when they leave school in the evening is head straight to a chicken take-away and stuff their face. What happened to good healthy home-cooked meals. Have you seen the numbers of fast-food takeaway around our schools??!! I really fear for our kids as especially the people who should know better ( their parents ) are busy supporting these same fast-food takeaways after their evening night out.
These chicken shops must dread the day Black people start eating healthily!

Remember: running water cannot be stopped. The views on these pages are my own personal observation.