After The Love Has Gone

After The Love Has Gone

Love is the only thing we need. Nothing else matters if this is absent in your relationship. You might try to stay together for the children, but what if the children have grown and flown the nest, what if you have no children, what if as statistically shown, couples in their early thirties have drifted. Recent statistics shows that 3 percent of women haven’t had any sex in a year and 2.5% of men haven’t had sex in a year. Somebody somewhere is lying. Interestingly, the statistic shows that its often women that no longer want sex. Yeah, I hear you shouting that a relationship is a lot more than physical contact! Men only want sex and women want to make love. But, what’s a man to do when his woman tells him she has gone off physical contact. First she withdraws the sexual contact, then the emotional contact, intimacy, laughter and eventually frienship. What is she trying to say. I don’t know, could it be something like if your woman turns vegan, does that pretty much mean that you become one. When your partner says am not really into sex anymore is she condemning you to a life of no physical contact or is she giving you a get you out of jail card? By this I mean the option to explore sexual contact with another. If she only wants the companionship, she could have it while you explore your sexual urge with another. Surely, this is the most suitable option for all concerned. By no means am I saying this should apply or apply only in favour of men. Shouldn’t it be the policy when either partner withdraws emotional and sexual contract. No, I didn’t make a mistake here. I meant emotional and sexual contract. Surely when you marry someone, you make a commitment and a contract to satisfy each other emotionally, physically, thru thick and thin, for better or worse! When all these things are absent there can only be sadness, emotional loneliness and chocolate.

What can be done after the love has gone?

Can it be repaired, salvaged, would you want to? Should one return down a mis-trodden path? Never more than before has it been more important to be in Love and to love who you are with. Its all that matters. Many have replaced their relationship with the Iphone (this is my observation, not a general view held or statistically proven ). Rather than pay attention to their partners, they spend their time checking interactive camera’s on the Apps of their phone. This in itself tells you a story, a clear message that the partner is no longer interested and doesn’t care. If you are living a single life within a marriage or a lonely life within a marriage,…it is time to spice it up or ship out. What a waste of time. Does the answer lie within all of us? Many more people in their early thirties have known the marriage or relationship is over but continue for the sake of children, mortgage, security, but not for LOVE! They discover in their forties that it has been a waste of time and beyond repair. This is shown in the increasing numbers of over forties seeking love in the pages of dating websites, second and third marriages.

After the love has gone, one needs to examine if the love really existed and what one considers love. Are they in the things one does for you,.. the material aspect or is it the emotional. Could you really live with the same person if they had nothing but love for you. Would the attraction be the same if you had to care for them if they got ill,..could you? Would you? Care. Everyday I see beautiful examples of love from couples who aren’t even aware they have it. How lucky.

Love is not all those idealistic rubbish we are fed in RomComs. Its in the beautiful but delirious silence shared when you are both at your most vociferous. Its that smile and warmth you feel even when they are not around, Its sitting so close even though there is ample seating. Its in the simple things shared and its in the giving.

Remember: Running water cannot be stopped,.. it always find a way