you

am not angry nor cold
even now as the skies
darken and gather around me
nor am i afraid for what the future holds
as clearly i hold the future
my destiny is mine
nobody elses!
yes i am unafraid
yet afraid i become
as thoughts of past
events
dilenmas
proclivities
pervades my very being
i tell myself i am whole
i have become whole
No!
i do not need definition
nor image
i decide who i am
am blessed
blessed i am
my gift bear fruit
done all i can
all i can i have done
relentless is my pursuit
direct is my aim
i want you to hold me
i need to be held by you
like i have never before been held
i need to hear you sing my name
whisper kind words that soothe my pain
i want you to see my hurt
not to feel my hurt

want you

even though I don't need you

need you
i wneed you to want me
want me
for me.

this morning

I emerged this morning grateful and glorious in the knowledge that I was now safe. Too often we are caught up in the predicament of others. Existing instead living, living instead of loving. I emerged completely aware of the importance of my life in the sphere of the world. Looking at the stars, live’s individual can seem insignificant. Important though is those we love, those we choose to love, and those we love even though the world deem them unfit to love.
Fundamentally I am, so I shall be. Be clean, be true, be-long, be-used and be aware. I emerged victorious, unsuspecting of life’s gift, grateful that life had chosen me to love.
I have chosen not to engage in lyrical masturbation, instead I will offer libation to the Gods of redemption. I have discouraged verbal tennis, and have discovered lyrical true essence of being. I am allowing the um-na-na to wash over me.
Spiritual is my guide, fast is my resolve. Complete is the heart. Mysterious remains the intent.

the other day

I remember stepping out of myself the other day. I remember admiring in awe at the tall dark somewhat quirky individual looking back. I remember feeling a tinge of sadness. Emotions so strong. Feelings of rage and unrequited love. I remember feeling enormous gratitude, enormous hope. Individually apart I stood, stood apart I was an individual. I remember reaching out at loves lost and aspirations expired.
Too quickly the flames of passions so strongly felt would extinguish, leaving feelings of anxiety. I remember the quick slow quick steps of ambitions drive. The flutter of evil intent when submissions of honesty to fore.
I remember the complicated art of leaving self exposed to ridicule by being so ridiculous. I remember dialogue of self, want and longing. Too soon oh too soon, fake hopes shines yet dims as I bought the untruth behind the reality of the flaw. I desired, yet felt no desire. I watched in amazement as justice threw down the challenge, the gauntlet. I scurried and unrelenting folded back the cover. I discovered that even though I was asleep I was always awake and as I awoke, I fell so soberly into sleeps welcoming and wanton hands. I remember stepping back into myself and feeling cheated at an adventure unfulfilled.